a little more slowly please...

well work went off without a hitch last night. took a lot more tables than i had expected. money was ... eh.... but i blame that on the people. my last table of the night kept staring me down like they wanted something, but every time i checked on them they said they where fine. in the end, they had a $39 bill and left me $3.55. fuckers. thanks. anyways, like i said, it wasn't a bad night. they'll only be better now since my managers told me last night that i exceded their expectations. go me.

so i've been thinking about my project for my video production class. he says that it has to be some sort of PSA or informative thing. it's supposed to be between 5-6 minutes long.... this, of course, completely rules out my music video idea. i asked him, he said "no". in fact he has pretty much said the same to everyone's suggestions, my music video, kerry's short movie, sopha's skit... wtf... he's insistent on the PSA thing...

so PSA it is... this is where i ask for help from my friends list. i want to do something on the madison music scene. since my only contacts are from the 'no, i'm going to keep it to Madison's electronic/industrial/goth scene. i won't be doing any real work on it until April, but i know there's some shows coming up. i'm going to be renting one the fancy camera's from the school and would like to get some live footage to splice between interviews and such. so, first off i need permission to tape these shows. then i would also like to talk to some of our prominent madison artists and promoters... so i'm placing a call out to not_eurotic, scrotasticfurry and nulldevice. there are others that i know are out there, but i don't have contact info for. if you guys don't mind dropping me an email at blythe at smackingmackerel dot com, i would really really appreciate it. like i said, right now i'm just doing the filming of shows, but mid to late april is when i'll need to do interviews. anyone else you guys could hook me up with, i would really appreciate! ;) also anyone else on my friends list who would want to help me with this, please drop me a line, i would really appreciate it.

ok. now i get stuff done. i'm supposed to do laundry, but i don't really want to. but i will. as soon as i can get my lazy ass out the door to put money on the card. then class at 2:30 wee.... oh and i should probably eat something since all i had yesterday was breakfast... stupid fracked up work/school schedules, completely throwing me off.

ok. so i made this play this moring. put in ben folds, guster, aimee mann, bree sharp, dashboard confessional, death cab for cutie, and a few others of the like...

anywho. i've been listening to said playlist for about an hour. i have now hear/passed at least 20 ben folds songs, 1 guster and now i've just followed up ben folds philosophy with bree sharp's dirty magazine. the thing to keep in mind, i have about 3 ben folds albums in this playlist, 5 guster albums and at least 15 other albums... so why is my player on such a ben folds kick? oi. not that i'm complaining, just confused.

sitting at lunch, reading the isthmus, i had a ton of things running rampant in my head. i'm at that strange place, again, where i can't decide where i am in my life. is this really where i want to be, what i want to do forever? even with the possibilities ahead of me just through classes and what not at work, i still have that dim feeling that i don't want to do this... bah stupid. i think it's seriously a january thing. you know, new year, what do you do with it?

but everything always comes back to music. i really want to be doing more with music again. i miss it. matt bought me that sound card for the old pc so i can start playing with programs but none of them seem to make any sense to me. i don't have patience at all for it. then i think maybe i need to start working with someone, stick to what i'm good at, write some lyrics and sing. but everyone in music i know all have their own projects...

i also feel like i'm neglecting my poor boy. i'm working so much these days. and then i'm running off and doing things with people from work. and i'm not completely myself at home anymore. i hate when i get like this. and then last night he made the comment that i don't talk to him about things anymore. that i put it all up here on lj. and he's right i do. don't know why, just don't feel like actually talking.

>sigh<

>gah<

all of this comes from being tired and cranky. i know this... i'm really trying not to neglect my friends and especially my mj.

also. i have pms.