(no subject)
14 January 2005 11:56![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
exairiansitting at lunch, reading the isthmus, i had a ton of things running rampant in my head. i'm at that strange place, again, where i can't decide where i am in my life. is this really where i want to be, what i want to do forever? even with the possibilities ahead of me just through classes and what not at work, i still have that dim feeling that i don't want to do this... bah stupid. i think it's seriously a january thing. you know, new year, what do you do with it?
but everything always comes back to music. i really want to be doing more with music again. i miss it. matt bought me that sound card for the old pc so i can start playing with programs but none of them seem to make any sense to me. i don't have patience at all for it. then i think maybe i need to start working with someone, stick to what i'm good at, write some lyrics and sing. but everyone in music i know all have their own projects...
i also feel like i'm neglecting my poor boy. i'm working so much these days. and then i'm running off and doing things with people from work. and i'm not completely myself at home anymore. i hate when i get like this. and then last night he made the comment that i don't talk to him about things anymore. that i put it all up here on lj. and he's right i do. don't know why, just don't feel like actually talking.
>sigh<
>gah<
all of this comes from being tired and cranky. i know this... i'm really trying not to neglect my friends and especially my mj.
also. i have pms.
but everything always comes back to music. i really want to be doing more with music again. i miss it. matt bought me that sound card for the old pc so i can start playing with programs but none of them seem to make any sense to me. i don't have patience at all for it. then i think maybe i need to start working with someone, stick to what i'm good at, write some lyrics and sing. but everyone in music i know all have their own projects...
i also feel like i'm neglecting my poor boy. i'm working so much these days. and then i'm running off and doing things with people from work. and i'm not completely myself at home anymore. i hate when i get like this. and then last night he made the comment that i don't talk to him about things anymore. that i put it all up here on lj. and he's right i do. don't know why, just don't feel like actually talking.
>sigh<
>gah<
all of this comes from being tired and cranky. i know this... i'm really trying not to neglect my friends and especially my mj.
also. i have pms.
