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exairianThis last Saturday morning was amazing. It reminded me why I got into derby and stick with it for three hours.
I felt so good about how I played. Even after looking back and realizing I skated about a total of 12 minutes during the bout, it was still so worth every second. I skated well (for the most part), I took some amazing hits from some amazing people and I finally got to be seen by some important to me friends.
I've had to fight some feelings about derby lately. I've questioned if I am starting to hit derby burn-out. It seems and inevitability with any skater, so I'm not shocked I was getting to that point. But Saturday reminded me of something. I'm burning out because of the drama, not the sport. I still love to play. It's the first and only sport I've truly felt I excelled at and belonged a part of. Derby has made me feel so amazing about who I am. I am comfortable in my own skin because of derby. I have confidence because of derby. I will not let the drama llama drag me down.
I say all this after having a very entertaining chat with a member of the derby community today. He came into work and talked to me about Saturday. He brought up mid-season and summer drafting and wanted to be sure I was in the pool. I'm not. I chose not to be. I couldn't deal with the heartbreak again. He then told me what a waste he thought it was that I wasn't a part of it.
Then he told me something I found most interesting. After being told, last year, that I would never be drafted because I didn't have the "right attitude" and people didn't want to deal with my "issues", that captains approached him and wanted to know his opinion on me and my draftability.
He told me this, I shrug it off and thought "a day late and a dollar short."
That's where I am now. I'm okay with who I am, what I've done and who I am going to be. I have some awesome memories of Saturday. I will continue to skate recreationally. I will continue to be awesome. What more can a girl ask for in life?
I felt so good about how I played. Even after looking back and realizing I skated about a total of 12 minutes during the bout, it was still so worth every second. I skated well (for the most part), I took some amazing hits from some amazing people and I finally got to be seen by some important to me friends.
I've had to fight some feelings about derby lately. I've questioned if I am starting to hit derby burn-out. It seems and inevitability with any skater, so I'm not shocked I was getting to that point. But Saturday reminded me of something. I'm burning out because of the drama, not the sport. I still love to play. It's the first and only sport I've truly felt I excelled at and belonged a part of. Derby has made me feel so amazing about who I am. I am comfortable in my own skin because of derby. I have confidence because of derby. I will not let the drama llama drag me down.
I say all this after having a very entertaining chat with a member of the derby community today. He came into work and talked to me about Saturday. He brought up mid-season and summer drafting and wanted to be sure I was in the pool. I'm not. I chose not to be. I couldn't deal with the heartbreak again. He then told me what a waste he thought it was that I wasn't a part of it.
Then he told me something I found most interesting. After being told, last year, that I would never be drafted because I didn't have the "right attitude" and people didn't want to deal with my "issues", that captains approached him and wanted to know his opinion on me and my draftability.
He told me this, I shrug it off and thought "a day late and a dollar short."
That's where I am now. I'm okay with who I am, what I've done and who I am going to be. I have some awesome memories of Saturday. I will continue to skate recreationally. I will continue to be awesome. What more can a girl ask for in life?
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Date: 15 Jan 2013 15:38 (UTC)At least this picture doesn't have you staring off into space looking confused...